The last few weeks, we started noticing a pattern with Analeigh. She was suddenly calmer during the week than what we were used to but would turn around and be extremely worked up on the weekends. At first, we didn't give it much thought... well, I didn't. I just chalked it up to her unpredictability and left it at that. Little did I know, there was much, much more to it.
Last week, my day nurse informed me that she had suspicions that Analeigh was being drugged at night by her Mon-Thurs night nurse. The logic seemed to fit her new pattern of behavior but I still found it very hard to accept that anyone in their right mind could do that do my daughter. Especially since the nurse in question had been with our family since the first night Analeigh came home from the NICU on October 4, 2010. I had thought it very strange when we discovered a half-dissolved Xanax in her bed but my night nurse has a prescription for it and said it must've fallen out of her pocket into the bed when she was changing Analeigh's diaper. It didn't feel quite right then but again, I never EVER would have suspected this nurse was capable of doing something so unthinkable!
The week went on and a noticeable pattern of lethargy during the day developed. She was even MORE unusually calm than normal and seemed completely out of sorts. By around 5pm each day, it was as if she suddenly returned to her normal self... Thursday came around and things took a turn for the worst. She was so lethargic that she was borderline non-responsive. I honestly think we could have ripped her arm off and she wouldn't have cared. Her normal spasticity was gone and even if you picked up and dropped her right leg (the one with the dislocated hip), she didn't make a face or object in any way. It was so drastically different that it was alarming. It became even more alarming when she desatted (meaning her oxygen saturation level dropped well below the acceptable range) and had to be given manual breaths on the vent (THREE different times... each worse than the one before). It was as if she was so out of it that she forgot to breathe. She was literally only taking the breaths the vent made her take.
I started pondering what my day nurse had told me, over and over and over again in my head... I dug deep for ANY other possible explanation. I then realized that the "diaper rash/ yeast infection" that had suddenly shown up had appeared around the same time we started noticing the higher level of lethargy in her. I started questioning whether or not it could be from an adverse reaction to a drug I didn't know she was being given. I knew she wasn't being left to sit in wet/dirty diapers and she almost NEVER gets diaper rash. I also knew she had not been on any antibiotics in quite some time.
The first thing that came to mind was to ask the doctor for a tox screen to either confirm or dismiss our suspicions. I then realized that if they did find something, they would be legally obligated to report it to CPS and I could not prove who gave it to her... just the nurse having scripts for the drugs would not be enough. So, I was in a position to lose my daughter one way or another by no fault of my own... unless I continued to sit back and do nothing. So, I let the night nurse go with an excuse I thought would be acceptable so that I could take over the night shifts myself and observe her behavior once we got through the weekend.
All weekend I watched her go through what appears to me to be withdrawals. She would sleep all day and tremble all over when awake with a high heart rate and visible irritability. Strangely enough, her urine output has also dwindled to nearly nothing. We were used to soaking wet diapers at almost the same time everyday and I haven't seen them for the last several days. It wasn't until we looked up possible negative reactions to Xanax and Trazodone (both of which this nurse had scripts for and both of which could cause the behavior we had been seeing) that I really became sick to my stomach (well, all over again)... she has so many symptoms of a severe reaction to BOTH of these drugs that would explain ALL of the strange behavior we've been seeing. The shaking, the rash, the elevated heart rate, the lethargy, the decreased urine output, etc.
I cannot begin to tell you how sick this has made me. I trusted this nurse with her life and now, even with no concrete proof, I truly believe she was drugging my daughter with her own medications. I cannot, for the life of me, understand what she hoped to gain from it. AND WHY?!! How can you look at that sweet face and know all she's been through and do that to her?! She could have KILLED her! Thank GOD for my day nurse who was looking out for her and brought her suspicions to me. I would have hated to be in her position, knowing how much we loved this particular nurse and having to completely crush us.
I've been trying to get Analeigh's pedi to call me back since Friday to get her an appointment. I have to know if that rash is from a severe reaction because it is not responding to constant treatment with diaper rash cream and Nystatin powder. The sad thing is, I am not even sure we can do anything to this nurse. We literally have no proof. It's all he said/she said. I'm terrified that she will move on to another case and drug that family's child... and this time, the child may not be so lucky! I know how the agency works... how most agencies work. They won't care what I say as long as I have no definitive proof. They'll just put her somewhere else, promise us she will never be back to our home and business will go on as usual.
Does anyone know what we can do?! Please don't comment unless you've encountered a similar situation and actually KNOW what can be done. I don't need anyone to tell me to fire her because that's already been done. And I don't need someone to tell me to report it to the agency because I know they will not do anything... I need someone bigger than the agency. Someone who can actually see to it that she can't do this to another child.
Since the nurse is gone, I see more of the Analeigh I was used to before she (the nurse) returned back from being out a couple of months for surgery. But in the midst of it all, she looks like a junkie needing a fix. The shakes, circles around her eyes, sleeping longer than usual with heart rate all over the place and a touch-me-not disposition. It's painful to watch but I know if we're right, she has to detox on her own. I can't give her anything to help ease her discomfort besides the regular doses of her regular meds and OTC meds like Ibuprofen.
I keep hoping that somehow we are wrong... that there is some other reasonable explanation for all of this but I just can't think of one. My heart hurts for her and also because of the betrayal I feel. I don't want to ruin her career if I'm wrong, but just don't see how I could be... I guess the next few days will either make me more convinced that we discovered the truth or it will prove me wrong. Please pray for her because if she is going through withdrawals, it can't be nice.
Parents of kids who receive pediatric in-home nursing, PLEASE beware! You can never know what goes on while you're sleeping so please, pay attention to your kids and investigate any unusual behavior. Don't do like I did and simply take for granted that your child is being taken care of in the proper manner. I think we have all encountered a few people in our lifetimes that were not who we first thought them to be, so don't assume your nurses (no matter how well you think you know them) are above being one of those people.
I have refrained from posting any of this on Facebook as I was worried this nurse could see the post and start spouting lies that could cause a major upset. I've already caught her in a couple of small ones since this has all gone down. She still has not been told the real reason she was fired but I think by the digging around she's been trying to do behind my back, she knows or at least suspects that we've figured out what she did and is waiting to see what/if we're going to do something about it. I only write this because my eyes have been opened and hope that by sharing, yours will too.
I apologize now if in the end it is determined that my suspicions are wrong BUT I do not apologize for doing what I feel is best to keep my child safe from any harm that could possibly befall her... for now, I'm going to keep staying on the pedi until they get back with me about an appointment and then I'm going to see what they can do to determine whether or not her symptoms are related to an adverse drug reaction and/or withdrawals. I have no idea what the ramifications of all of this will be so PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE keep our family in your prayers!
